Learning

I'm just taking a few minutes to process what I've been learning today. For those who don't know, I've begun classes toward a master's degree in professional counseling. I began classes in February and with working full time, looking for work, moving (which is why I was looking for work) and trying to keep up with two classes, there was *no* time for reflection and digestion - it was all about getting the projects done by the due date - and I wasn't 100% successful at that either!

Now that I'm no longer working and have been able to just about catch up with classes (3 more chapters to read and one short reply post and I'm all caught up for what's due this week), I have just a bit more flexibility with my time. So, I'm taking advantage of that today.

My reading today has centered around family systems and therapies. The book is Competent Christian Counseling, Volume One (2002). Dr. Timothy Clinton and Dr. George Ohlschlager are the executive editors. It is REALLY good stuff! HIGHLY recommended reading! Everything is solidly grounded in scripture and where they use secular information it is supplementary and evidentiary of Biblical principles and truths. Anyway here's some pieces I'd like to share:

"When marriages achieve the ideal of soul friendship, the mutual care they
provide affords the possibility of a constancy of soul care that is seldom
possible in other human relationships" (quoted from David Brenner, Strategic
Pastoral Counseling).

"Of all the needs (there are none imaginary) a lonely child has, the one
that must be satisfied if there is goint to be hope and a hope of wholeness, is
the unshaking need for an unshakeable God" (quoted from Maya Angelou, I Know
Why the Caged Bird Sings).

Please bear in mind that I am NOT a qualified therapist yet - this is just a student - and a first year student at that - "thinking out loud". I still have a lot of learning to do and could be way off base. These are just my personal assessments based on what I've learned so far.

Through my reading today about marital challenges and various therapies designed to address those challenges (from pre-marital counseling to marriage enhancement to interventions for marriages in serious trouble) and about family systems - the roles people play in family structures, the lies and myths we believe and promote to each other and the circular nature of dsysfunctionality, I've come to think that *most likely* the relationship between husband and wife is centrally causational to the majority of individual and family problems.

Brenner notes the concept of "soul care" within marriage. I think that it is ESSENTIAL that husbands and wives look FIRST to the SOUL care of their mate. Soul care - that's a concept that deserves some contemplation. It's not just making sure the standard perceived needs are met - it reaches farther - it is more intimate. It means caring for the inner life of your spouse - their need to feel fulfilled, their need to feel safe in sharing the deepest and darkest parts of themselves, their need to be encouraged and spurred on to good works, their need to speak the truth in LOVE (which sometimes means filtering what is said so as not to cause unnecessary harm) and to have the truth spoken in love to them so as to encourage positive change. The soul refers to the entirety of the person - more than what is seen or heard in the relationship, but down deep into that which no one but the spouse sees or hears - and, unless there is a strong sense of safety in the sharing, probably not even the spouse. It is the core of the being that needs to be cared for and is all too often neglected in the busy-ness of married life.

One of the concepts covered in today's reading involved the Identified Problem - a role typically assigned to a child - usually the oldest - by parents who have unresolved marital issues. The child becomes the "scapegoat" allowing the parents to unite in dealing with the problem child instead of dealing with their own marital challenges with one another. I think this probably happens in a lot of families. It is the easy way out.

In yesterday's reading I learned a great deal about marital therapy. I am now leaning toward the conviction that a healthy marriage starts with healthy premarital counseling and continues with REGULAR forays into therapy - whether through a bi-annual weekend marriage seminar or "check-ups" with a church counselor or whatever. I think having a neutral party involved is VERY useful as we are often blind to our own destructive thoughts and behaviors. Having someone else question the way things are done in our relationships forces us to step out of ourselves and see things in a different light - allowing us to resolve issues we may not have even realized existed.

Well, these are just some of my thoughts so far. On to the rest of the reading I need to get done today :-)

Vacation

Yeah, it was fun ;-) Folks keep asking me what's the best thing about the trip and I really struggle with that answer. Being a perfectionist, I can tell you all the things that went wrong (and there's quite a list) but it really was a pretty cool trip. WAY too much driving, but the Wyndham resorts were really nice and we got in all the essentials - time at the beach, time with friends, all the essential rides and shows at the parks . . . except two, that is - we didn't get on Atlantis at Seaworld or Buzz Lightyear (I think that's what it's called) at CA Adventure - both were down when we finally got around to them . . . Oh well . . . good excuse for another trip :-)

Anyway, pics are on my facebook so anyone can check them out :-)

VACATION!!! :-)

Yup! That's right! I'm finally going on a real, honest-to-God VACATION! Complete with theme parks and hotel stays! :-)

Now, I'm not the wealthiest woman in the world - after all, I do work for a church :-/ But God has been gracious in so many ways. About 2 1/2 years ago I had the opportunity to purchase a timeshare through WorldMark - giving me access to 4-5 star hotels all over the US. I've been able to use it to send my brother on a couple of weekend trips but this is the first time I've been able to use it for myself. So - housing for the vacation is taken care of :-) Nicely, I might add.

In addition, I was able to use my credits from WorldMark to purchase 2-day Disneyland Park Hopper tickets :-) One theme park, taken care of :-) Nicely, I might add.

Add a recent debt consolidation move I made that freed up a little extra each month to put in savings and closing out a stock account that I legally needed to close anyway and . . . wah lah - everything else is taken care of :-) Nicely, I might add.

So, for my friends who keep up on life's happenings through my blog, here's the itinerary:

Departing as early as possible Aug. 29th (I have to work 1/2 day so hopefully I can go in early and we can leave by 11 a.m.) and heading to Oceanside, CA - specifically Worldmark Oceanside Harbor (click here for a look-see). Dinner - probably at Applebees if we have the gift cards mom requested from the points she earned through her checking account (a nice meal taken care of - Nicely, I might add) :-) Walk on the beach, time to reflect, relax and enjoy LIFE :-)

August 30th we'll head to SeaWorld for the day - meeting my friend, Mary, from where I used to work. My folks will head off to visit my dad's sister and brother. We'll end the day around 7-8 pm and head to Indio CA. The closest resort I could get for the rest of the weekend - it's a little ways out, but things are still accessible :-) (click here for a look-see).

August 31st & September 1st are Disneyland days. Kristen (a young lady I mentor) has never been to SeaWorld OR Disneyland, so this will be totally awesome! I'm still hoping to meet up with Mark as he usually has an annual pass, but I haven't heard from him yet . . . .??? :-/ We have park-hopper passes so we'll also get to go to CA Adventures - which neither me nor my parents have ever been to either. Should be TONS of fun!

September 2nd we'll sleep in then pack our things and head home to get ready for real life again.

Yeah . . . I'm jazzed :-)

Anticipation

For your encouragement today :-)

1st Thessalonians 4:14-17
For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus.

For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep.

For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.

Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.

Are you ready??

Hebrews 10:23-25
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

Friendships

So this last week has been all about friendships for me. Started out Sunday & Monday with a couple of pretty rough days - really struggling with the whole idea of probably having to face another move but no idea when or where at this point. I say "have to" knowing that it's an obligation I put on myself. I could choose not to . . . I think I would regret it though.

Anyway, one thing that made it tough was an uncertain potential relationship that showed (albeit weak) signs of possibly progressing. The person in question and I had a chat and now that question has been dealt with. It eases a lot of tension to know that friendship is all that's needed and wanted at this time. If I do have to pick up and go, I know I won't be walking away from something that could have been more - and that's a relief.

Another part of the struggle is the youth ministry I'm involved in. I feel like I'm really starting to get to know the kids - and I have a deep desire to impact their lives for Christ. I see so many hurting kids looking for direction, security and honest, heart-felt agape love. The challenge is that the more I invest, the harder it will be to leave if/when the time comes. But I don't know I will have to leave and I can't pull back from investing - I'm a bit obsessive that way - I'm either all in or not at all - and with this group, I'm definitely all in.

So, the first part of last week was a struggle - I really needed a friend - a hug - just to be held . . . I dearly missed my buddy Mark during this time. Usually it's me counseling him on challenges, but there've been times when I've really hurt and he's been there for me - he's probably the 2nd best friend I have. My brother, Dan, still has 1st place, but he's got his own challenges to deal with right now and needs me to be strong for him. Still, it was nice to hit a movie with him this last Sunday and our little chat over coffee was restorative.

Dan's looking at churches in New Jersey and Illinois . . . I really want him to get the church in Illinois . . . but I really don't want to go to Illinois . . . selfish? maybe. I think I'm just so tired of change and the constant need to adapt and adjust. We'll see where God lands Dan, then we'll see what mom & dad want to do, THEN I can start thinking about what I need to do. For now I'm here and that's all the light God has given me . . .

Then I got to spend some time with mom. She was more like the mom I used to have growing up and I was able to be her "little girl" and just spill. It was good to be the counselee and not the counselor. Not that she really had to counsel much - she just made a really great wall for me to bounce my issues off of. That time meant a lot to me and started the uphill swing for the rest of the week :-)

Anyway, after my rough start to last week and the neat talk with my mom, God gave me an opportunity to chat with another friend and clear away some mis-conceptions that had been hampering growth in our friendship. It's tough with guy/girl friendships - especially when you're both single. There's always opportunity to mis-read intentions ("is he/she just being friendly or does this indicate more?") into innocent actions. Add to that the rumors and speculations from other sources and a girl can get confused about where a friendship is or is not going. I'm so glad we talked. "Just Friends" works great for me. I'm glad to know how to interpret my friends actions and I'm so very glad he values our friendship as much as I do! :-)

Then tonight I had the opportunity to chat with another friend - a gal I've gotten to know through our bookstore ministry at the church and that I'm now working with in our youth group. We have a lot in common - we see many issues in the same way - it's good to know I'm not the only one concerned in certain areas and that we're both committed to praying about it and waiting on the Lord to show us what, if anything, we can do to address the challenges we see.

Wednesday night I'm meeting with one of the student leaders from our youth group. I'm really looking forward to spending some time with this young lady! :-) Thursday I've got dinner scheduled with my housemate followed by coffee with my sister-in-law. I've really neglected Suzy. In some ways it's been unavoidable - there's only so much of me to go around and when everybody wants/needs my time individually, well . . . something is gonna get missed or skipped. On the other hand, I realize that my priorities are just that - MY priorities - it's up to me to set them and to act on them - and I really haven't made her a priority. So I'll start working on that this week . . .

Friday I'm hoping will be coffee out with a fella from church. ;-) We're in that awkward part of the friendship where I don't know if it can/will blossom into more than a friendship. I'm not even certain whether I want it to or not - it throws a whole other facet into the move or not move question that will inevitably rear its ugly head. On the plus side, in previous conversations, he's indicated an interest in moving himself - and we seem to share the same interest in the type of environment we'd like to live in so . . . ????? For now, I'll manage this friendship as I do all my other guy friendships - he is my brother in Christ and I will treat him as such until the Lord makes it clear I should do otherwise.

Another little thing that I've gotten into recently is facebook. It's pretty nifty :-) I'm being re-connected with friends I haven't heard from in years :=) I really like it!

Speaking of which - time to go change the sprinklers on the lawn and check out facebook :-) Then it's time for bed!!

ministry, life, and other such stuff

It's been an interesting ride the last few months. With my brother leaving his position at the church we worked at - for very good reason, I should note - I'm now back in the familiar yet still undesirable position of being unsettled. Ughh. I long for roots - but God keeps re-planting me.

Some will say it's my own choice - and, yeah, that's true, but it's a choice to do what's right - or at least what I believe the Lord has called me to do. The move to AZ was a good one for me - I've grown a lot because of it and I have a MUCH clearer focus in regards to ministry. I've also begun to get my finances whipped back into shape. I know I don't "have" to move again - and I don't know that the Lord will require me to - I DO know that it is important to me to stay near my mom - wherever she is. The last 3 years apart were not good for her and I won't do that to her again unless the Lord requires it.

So - anyway, Limbo . . . not such a great place to be - and yet the best place. It is a constant reminder that the only constant, the only sure and settled and reliable thing in life is Christ. I need to be completely rooted and grounded in Him to survive this.

It hasn't been easy. But I know He has a purpose for it.

2:00 AM

Yeah, up at 2:00 AM - what's up with that? I thought maybe I should just pray for a while, but my thoughts were kinda jumbled - still, did pray for some folks - the young lady I'm mentoring and a challenge she's going through along with the other folks involved in that challenge and a few other folks. But prayer didn't seem to be the reason I was awake - after about 45 minutes of tossing I realized I was in pain. I have a high tolerance so sometimes it doesn't register right away. Just some muscle pain - probably relating to the workout I started yesterday AM combined with some time in the pool using muscles I haven't worked on in a while. Anyway - took some Acetamenophen and tried to go back to sleep . . . obviously that didn't work. So, tried to decide if I should trim my nails and pick up my guitar or if I should blog for a bit. Obviously I made the quieter decision . . . not in the mood for noise.

So I checked out my friends blogs first - Josh & Mark's anyway - couldn't access Bonnie's without going back into my hotmail account to pull up the email that would remind me of my log in for that account. I miss those friends. Also discovered that the reason my buddy Mark hasn't responded to my post to his blog a couple of weeks ago is that the post evidently never got through . . . so I guess I need to email him instead. Should call . . . but it's 4 AM now, don't think he'd appreciate it.

The last couple of weeks were challenging but great - lots of hours at work - I think I've got about 3 days comp time coming. Took yesterday off to recoup a bit - got a bit snippy with mom the previous morning and realized the adrenaline I'd been running on had run out, leaving me a bit cranky. So I slept in (8:30!), had devotions with my mom out by the pool :-), then started in on Richard Simmon's "Sweatin' to the Oldies" excercise video. Got just past the "check your heart rate" section - right in the middle of the work out and my dad calls mom and asks her to come outside to the trash bin area and bring me with her . . . UGHH. Paused the video and thought "this better be good". . . it wasn't . . . he had discovered a TV and wanted to bring it in. My thoughts . . . (1) it was tossed for a reason; (2) we already have a TV in every room and another couple in storage, so what do we need this one for; (3) why does the world always have to revolve around HIM??????? I let myself mention to him that this had come right in the middle of my work out and he got upset with me - ???? - Like what I have going on has no value? Well, unfortunately, I should have known better - no one else has ever had any value to my dad - why should I expect it in this circumstance. Anyway - mulling it over I worked myself into quite a mini-rage . . . frankly, I'm ashamed of that - it did not honor God and I had just prayed that morning that I would use the time he'd given me that day to glorify him. Self-centered anger (i.e. dad intruding on *my* day) does not honor God. I stopped the excercise video and jumped in the shower - just a place to escape where he could not confront me and ask if I was upset - that would have been really bad. I worked through the anger in the shower - Had a good cry with God about it and realized that the anger came more from dad yet again displaying a devaluation of me as a person - this led to a bit of depression so I stayed in my room and cried for a bit before I was able to re-settle and re-establish the walls that protect me from his cruelty.

I was at a bit of an impass as to what to do next then. I needed a "day off" - - I needed some down time with no people to please and satisfy but by this time I realized I was not going to have the house to myself (as mom had indicated I would . . . they were going to go house hunting, supposedly . . . and then golfing). My aunt and uncle came and we had lunch then my uncle and dad went golfing - a nice respite except that my aunt stayed . . . she is one of the most negative people I know - EVERY topic is "poor me" and "look how bad he/she is". I HAD to get out of the house . . . but I had no idea where to go or what to do. As I was vacillating between options, I got a call - I invited the caller over and we went to the pool to hang out - best decision I'd made all day. This gal is the best - it's such a joy to watch the Lord grow her up into a godly young lady!

She's been taking flak for some tough decisions she's had to make from people who call themselves "friends" but who just don't understand. She's honest about where she made unwise choices and is really working toward maturity in Christ - she's such a blessing. I know I share more than I should with her about my challenges - but, as she says, it helps her learn. I told her of my morning and how I had failed with my attitude - she was a real encouragement. We played for a while - "giggled" like girls - then went in, showered & headed for Berean where we picked out a new study to start together. She really wants to learn - she is such a blessing!

Something that keeps running through my mind is a particular gentleman. He is one amazing man. I really wish he'd find me attractive. No, I don't think that's a possibility - and that's got me a little down - I really need to loose about 70 lbs. I put the weight on to fend off guys interested in only the physical - never meant to put on as much as I did, but, there it is. Now it's such a struggle to get it off - and sometimes I think - if it's meant to be, the weight won't be an issue . . . I have several friends who are far more overweight than me and God brought them men who love them just as they are - so, logically, the same could happen here - but I really can't imagine anyone - least of all someone as really neat as this fella finding this shell attractive in any way.

So, I'm dieting & exercising again. Probably not the right motivation, but I realized I don't want to look like a white snowball on my wedding day . . . if I ever get to have one. I also realized I've grown up a lot since I put on the weight - I don't think I'd fall for the same shallow relationships I had in the past . . . at least, I hope not . . . I'm still a "dumb female". Eve was easily decieved and she was "perfect" - so I wouldn't put anything out of the realm of possibility. Especially when I'm feeling especially needy for approval and affection.

My computer's been a pain lately . . . only 256 MB and creeps along terribly. It's got tons of memory - like 56G or so and it's been cleaned up and defragged, but it keeps wanting to download "updates" when I log into the internet . . . and I never stay on long enough for it to finish. Perhaps this is a good time to let it finish - - it's at 16% and it's been going for about an hour now . . . Of course I'm also typing here and downloading Yahoo Messenger.

Well, it's now 4:45 - my alarm goes off in 1/2 an hour to get up for work . . . today is going to be challenging - there's much to do and I'm finally starting to feel like maybe - just maybe - I could drift off. YM & "updates" are still downloading . . . updates are still at 16% - what a pain! Yahoo is at 72.

Maybe I'll see what job opportunities are out there. I love my work, but at 50 hours a week, my availability for one-on-one ministry is really limited. I'm toying with the idea of finding another regular 8-5 job that would give me weekends free . . . . At the same time, I really like the environment of working at the church. I dunno. More $$ would be useful too - and benefits (currently doing without). Maybe I'll do that while I wait for the updates to finish . . .

Has it been a whole year already???

It has been about a year since my last post and so much has happened. I won't go into details because most of the folks who glance at this blog know the majority of the stuff. What I will do is a brief catch up with, what I hope will be, a glimpse of God's hand through all that has been.

About this time last year I got into a business venture - one of the best and worst decisions I've ever made. On the one hand, it was an amazing learning experience. Technically, I owned my own business and got to learn a lot about what goes into marketing products. I also learned a little about doing independent research before investing in something . . . In short, EcoQuest wasn't the great and awesome "earn thousands a month on part time without doing sales" that I was led to believe. It's marketed to dealers like me with the idea that if you just tell people you have it and what it's done for you, they'll want to buy it. That was wrong on so many levels.

In the end I was $2,500 in debt and sold the my inventory at cost to other dealers who had time and sales saavy to make it work for them. The rest went to friends at nearly cost. Don't get me wrong - it's a GREAT product. I have one of their air purifiers in my home and I LOVE it. My parents have one and my brother got them one for their car - this has completely eliminated a chronic cough my mother had for over a year that the doctors could not figure out. My brother has one in his home to and they love it.

The product is great - the sales . . . not so easy or so great. It required a lot more time and sales saavy than I had to give. End result, my credit took a nose dive and I will *finally* get myself back on track financially by the end of March THIS year. Ouch!

So, that's how I started last year. In May the Lord worked some details out so that I ended up leaving my beloved Dawson Company (good money, great benefits, amazing boss - Anyone who gets to work with them is definitely blessed) and California for a full time position at a church (survival level salary, no benefits, the boss situation is about equal) in Arizona. You see, I have the totally awesome opportunity to work at the same church where my brother is Worship Pastor :-). Worth the cost for sure! Though it brought challenges because of the financial situation.

Jumped out of the frying pan into the fryer on this one - most of my friends would tell you that when I worked at Dawson I worked "too much". Probably true - I'd put in an average of 45 hrs a week even though I was salaried and only had to put in 40. Then there was the church involvement so . . . I was pretty much "always busy". Now all my efforts go into the church and I work 50-60 hours a week on a regular basis (good excuse for not blogging???). It's tough, but it's rewarding too. Especially now as we're preparing for our bi-annual Missions Conference - MAN - this project is so overwhelming!!! The cool thing is, in the end when I look back at this, I'll see God's hand so clearly in each detail that freaks me out in the here & now. My faith has been stretched so much through my work at the church!

My sister-in-law, Suzy had her third child in November of last year. This is the first niece/nephew (in this case, nephew) I've ever been able to be around for right after the birth! I got to see Micah Nathaniel when he was only an hour old!!! I can't express in words how much of a blessing that was for me. My best friend, Donna discovered she was pregnant with her 3rd child shortly after I left CA. She's due next month and I'm so excited to see what the Lord will give her (it's a surprise!) Oh, and my close friends, David & Lela Verdugo had their first grandchild shortly after I moved away.

Well, mom's about got dinner ready so I'd best start closing this down. Which reminds me, I haven't really caught you up till I tell you my parents also had the opportunity to move to AZ last year - shortly after I moved out. For a little while we all lived with my brother, then I found a decent condo to rent and now my folks are living with me. They're hoping to recover from the moving costs and be able to find their own place within the next month or so. Much as I love them, it will be nice to have my own space again - it's been about 8 months since I came home to an empty house and I had kind of gotten used to that peace and quiet :-)

So that's about it for now. I'll try to keep up more now that life is settling down and I can choose to make the time.

Light Bearers

I'm reading a book called "Birthright: Christian, Do you know who you really are?" by David Needham. I highly recommend it to anyone who seeks a better understanding of the Christian's relationship with his/her Lord.

In the family of Christ, it is sadly true that many amazing phrases no longer carry the impact rightly due them. Key among these, in my opinion, is the prhase "Born Again". We say it so often that we no longer stop to stand in awe of what that truly means. An alternate wording that may catch our minds attention a little better is "Regeneration." They both describe the same event in a Christian's life, but the term "Regeneration" has a way of making you stop and go "hmmmm".

This is what my mind stopped to do - to mull over the implications, ramifications & indescribable beauty of what it means to truly be regenerated by Christ.

Quoting Needham from his Birthright book:

"For it is God who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," who has shone
in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face
of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be
made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from
us." (2 Cor 4:6-7).

One of the earliest writers on this passage, Chrysostom, the Golden Mouth
(AD 400), contrasted this passage with that moment in creation when God brought
light into existence:

"Indeed he said, 'let it be and it was:' but now he said nothing, but
himself became Light to us. For he said not, 'hath also now commanded,' but
'hath' himself 'shined.' . . . For seeing he had spoken many and great
things of the unspeakable glory, lest any should say, 'And how, enjoying so
great a glory remain we in a mortal body?' he saith, that this very thing is
indeed the chiefest marvel and a very great example of the power of God, that an earthen vessel hath been enabled to bear so great a brightness and to keep so high a treasure. And therefore as admiring this, he said, 'that the
exceeding greatness of the power may be of God and not of ourselves.'"

God did not say, "Lets some light shine into David," No! "God himself
has shined in our hearts"! We are not only "children of the light," but we
are the people in whom God dwells as the light. Not a fading light as with
Moses, but a glory that transforms us "into the same image from one degree of
glory to another" (2 Corinthians 3:13-18).

All emphasis mine.

Did you see it? Did it grab you by the shoulders and shake you? If it didn't, then you missed something totally amazing and shocking and nearly unbelievable.

All too often, we who know Christ go on and live as if Christ is WITH us rather than IN us. There is a huge difference between the two. I still haven't got it completely but I feel as if I'm on the edge of a cliff. On the one hand, I believe I'm bound by the laws of gravity and stepping over the edge will, naturally, lead only to death. On the other hand, I've just been told by God Himself that He has made me different from the rest of the world and that, if I would just step off the edge, I would find I could FLY!

To grasp, even only at its basest level, the concept of God Himself residing in me - granting me the power to do ANYthing He desires - is thrilling and terrifying all at once.

To bring this (reluctantly) down to earth - to day-t0-day living is humbling, challenging, terrifying, encouraging, emboldening, and so much more that I cannot fully express. God calls us to be holy - to yield the members of our body to righteousness - to live in the freedom from sin that He died to give us, and He has "given us all things pertaining to life and godliness." See that? ALL things - we have EVERY thing we need to LIVE and to live GODLY - to live in constant and consistent obedience to Him.

I dunno about you, but I've gotta soak in that for a bit. I'll come back later to hit on the dichotomy this reality presents.

The BIG News! :-)

I have recently started my own business!!!!

I am extremely excited about this since I've always wanted to run my own business. The Lord has brought circumstances into my life and the lives of my family that have made additional income really necessary - more than a raise at work could satisfy. This venture will allow me to financially maximize my time investment and provide me with the flexibility of working from home on my own schedule.

The name of my company is "Pure-N-Fresh" - I already have the DBA and I've filed for a re-sellers permit. Primarily I'll be retailing, though there's opportunities to bring others into the business if they find it's something they'd be interested in.

I’ll be working with a 20 year old top notch company by the name of EcoQuest International that’s leading the market in environmental products for home and business. I am officially an independent business owner! (See me grin!!) EcoQuest is a great company. They're all about “Healthy Living Technologies”. Their mission is: “To enhance and improve the quality of living indoors by providing products which bring safety, convenience, and beauty into the spaces where people spend their lives and to provide a real life-changing opportunity for anyone willing to work.”

EcoQuest manufactures and markets air purification systems for residential and light commercial applications as well as numerous other "healthy living" products including dust mite resistant bedding and whole-food nutritional products. Please feel free to take a look at my EcoQuest website (http://www.ecoquestintl.com/pure-n-fresh) to learn more. In fact, I'd love to have your feedback on the site design & content!

I got into this business cautiously - praying for wisdom about making the investment and testing the equipment in my own home first. I was pretty impressed with the quality! Our “space certified” Fresh Air purifier by EcoQuest is absolutely unique in the industry. It employs the same technology used to scrub the air in NASA spacecraft. After only 72 hours of using one of the Fresh Air purifiers, I noticed: A significant decrease in airborne particles floating around my apartment; A significant decrease in the amount of static electricity (for the first time since I got him, I can pet my long-haired cat without getting shocked!); and even with two cats in a little one-bedroom apartment, my home smells fresh and clean. I was genuinely impressed by the results after only a few days.

The big test for my purifier came last weekend when I was gone for four days and came home to a full litter box and some bananas that should've been eaten before I left. Having left the purifier on the lowest settings, I was sure I would open the door to an overwhelmingly nasty "rotten banana / gross litter box" odor. Amazingly, I was wrong!

I could use your help and support in two ways:
1. Please pray for me that I will use wisdom, discretion and good time management as I start up this business. I really want to honor God with this venture.
2. I am looking for a few people to test the technology for me, so that I can put together some testimonials regarding the experiences with the products. The company provides numerous testimonials, but I'd like something from folks I've actually met. If you know of anyone that has any of the following issues, please send them my way:

• Breathing problems – allergies, asthma, sleep problems, snoring
• Pet odor problems in the home
• Mold or mildew problems
• Home/office air quality issues

I will provide an air purifier for a 3-5 day period of time. All I ask in return is honest feedback.

Thank you in advance for helping. I can be reached at pure-n-fresh@hotmail.com

I'm Back :-)

Wow! More than 2 months since I've been here. Life has kept me running and I'm afraid Blogging hasn't been on the top of my "to do" list.

Anywho, sitting here on hold with Time Warner . . . 3rd time I've called about the same stupid, simple issue - just want to set up the VM that comes with my phone service . . . The first time I called they said they had to transfer my call to "level 3" - after an hour on hold for "level 3" (whateve the heck that is), I had to leave, so hung up. Second time I called (last night), after a good 45 min or so on hold, actually talked to a "level 3" tech. He said he was getting an error message he didn't understand and would have to talk to his supervisor to get this figured out and would then call me back. . . which he never did. So here I am yet again . . . on hold for the infamously impossible to get ahold of "level 3" . . . . ughh.

There's all kinds of news to catch up on, but I don't want this to be a book so, in brief:

My brother Dan & his family are happily settling in to ministry in Arizona - not really looking forward to the heat of the summer, but content that they are where God wants them for the time being :-)

Mom & Dad have been through some tough times lately. Dad has been out of work since August - seems nobody out there is smart enough to realize what a great asset he'd be to any company. Either that or the Lord has closed their eyes to his value in order to allow this time of testing. Either way, there's a lot of employers out there missing out on a good thing :-P. The financial challenges they're facing have really helped us all to see who really loves them - and it's been a blessing to see folks around them stepping up to the challenge and lending a hand when they can :-)

Since he's evidently got the down time decided for him, dad elected to have some long-overdue surgery on his feet. He had the first one done a week or so ago and the next one will be done when he's able to walk on the first. They elongated his achilles tendon (I think that's what it is anyway - the muscle on the bottom of the foot that gives you the nice "arch" - his was terrible) and broke his toes to re-structure them. He's had problems with his feet all his life - I really hope this does the trick for him.

Mom's started leading a Bible Study group again :-) This is a huge blessing to me - teaching the Word of God is what my mom does best and I'm so glad to see her back in the position of mentor.

They are both trying to decide whether to follow Dan to AZ or find a way to survive where they're at.

Their situation has driven me to start a new venture which I'll post about next :-) Aside from that, things are pretty status-quo. Discipling is on hold for a little bit - my "disciplee", Bonnie, is taking some college classes and will be preparing to move in the next month or so and my new venture needs some intense personal attention. We'll still hold each other accountable to daily stuffs (reading, prayer, etc.) but we won't be meeting regularly for a while.

That's it for the basic catch up - the really BIG news will come in the next post :-)

Meditation Alphabet

Bonnie and I are going through a book titled "Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God." I don't really agree with what the title implies, but that's a whole other topic for another time.

In the book, there's a section titled the "Meditation Alphabet" which takes each letter of the alphabet and lists a characteristic women should develop to make their home a welcoming environment. Each characteristic is followed by a brief description and a verse for meditation. As part of our homework assignment for this week, we are each selecting a letter to focus on during the day - the letter is to be chosen in the morning and the verse reviewed and we are focus on developing that characteristic during the day. We are then to BLog about the results of that focus at the end of each day.

Since we received this assignment on Wednesday, I'm a bit behind in my BLogging - so, here's a bit of "catch up" :-)

Wednesday:
The lettter for today was "A" for "Attitude". "Attitude sets the tone of your home environment. Keep yours positive - focus on Phil 4:8-9". Since I live alone, I applied this to my work environment for the day. I found I got a lot more accomplished and the attitudes of those around me were more positive. This was not a difficult one for me as work is generally a positive environment anyway, but meditating on the verse - taking every thought captive to the things that are true, honorable, right, lovely, pure, of good repute, things that are excellent and worthy of praise - this did require some effort. It was a good excercise :-)

Thursday:
The letter for today was "Q" - Bonnie picked it for me when I emailed her to ask that she pick a letter for me since I'd rushed out of the house without looking at the book and forgot to bring the book with me. . . . So it was suitable that she selected "Q" - "Quiet Time . . . a daily time of fellowship with your Lord. Psalm 119 teaches what God's Word will do for you." On this one I failed pretty badly. I let the busy-ness of life get in the way of spending time with my Lord and in His Word. I did better the next day.

Friday:
The letter for today was "D" for "Diligent." "Apply enthusiasm to your role as a Home Manager. Allow Proverbs 4:23 to guide you." Again, I applied this primarily to my work environment. It was easy to apply as we had a sales meeting followed by a potluck and it was my job to ensure the potluck got set up and ready to go. The previous day I had set up the decorations and, by applying diligence, the potluck went smoothly. A special blessing was in being able to cover the phones so the receptionist could actually participate - something she never gets to do during potlucks. I'm hoping this will help open the door to sharing Christ with her in more detail in the future.

Saturday:
The letter for today was "P" for "Plan Ahead." "It saves time, money, and energy. Focus on Proverbs 29:18." This was a good day for this letter - I really *needed* to implement it. Since I leave next weekend for vacation, I had much to plan ahead for and accomplish. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being total failure and 10 being exemplary success, I'd say I rated about a 6. Some of the challenges I faced were unexpected and far too time-consuming. Some of the wasted time was my own poor decision making, however, so I can't blame it all on "circumstances" :-P

Sunday:
Today's letter was "F" for "Festive Occasions." "Build an album of precious memories in your home by establishing traditions! Implement the practice of 'memorial stones' (Joshua 4:4-7)."
It's not gonna happen today. When I selected this verse this morning, my intention was to get out my scrapbooks and start placing all the things I have just thrown in there. It's not a total failure though. Just BLogging is a great way to set up a memorial stone. Someday I can look back at these words and be encouraged how God was working in my life. So, I'm not totally discouraged about it :-)

More tomorrow :-)

How long has it been?

Once again, I turn around and it's been more than a month since my last post. Where does the time go?? Life has been busy but, as I told a friend recently, that's no excuse - we all have the same number of hours - the challenge is in what we choose to do with those hours.

I wish I could say I'd simply been putting those hours I could have spent blogging to a more productive use and there are times in the last several weeks when that would be very true - but there are also times (too many of them) when the almighty "boob tube" has been given the preference - and that is not a good thing.

So - what's God been doing in my life recently? A great deal - mostly just one blessing after another. He continually provides for my needs - even when I don't make the wisest choices with the resources He has already provided - His patience does not cease to amaze me.

The most major things that have happened in the last few weeks include the Christmas "Fiesta" party for my Fellowship Group from church, my brother's new ministry position, and the continuing drama in my sister's family. First, the Fiesta :-)

The party was tons of fun. I had the honor of helping out in little bits of the set up and clean up - it's such a joy to work with so many servant-hearted people! I also had the responsibility to create and run the game for the evening. Last year I had this responsibility for the first time and we did a carol contest that went over very well - so the pressure was on to equal, if not surpass, the "fun" level. I'm telling you - involving 200+ people in one organized game is not an easy task! We ended up with Jeopardy. I owe that idea entirely to the Holy Spirit and I'm grateful for it.

I used a PowerPoint presentation to duplicate the jeopardy board and I pulled Christmas-related trivia off the internet to formulate the questions. We divided the room into three sections and each section had 2 minutes to select a representative to play for them. Since we didn't have buzzers, we simply had each player take a turn and if they got the question right, they got the points, if they didn't, they didn't get the points (no deductions as I wanted the game to stay positive). During each players turn, once the question was asked, they got 15 seconds to listen to their section shouting out answers before they had to provide an answer - this kept everyone in the room involved, not just spectating :-)

It went over very well. It wasn't perfect - I had to make some judgement calls about the validity of responses and not everybody agreed with my decision - but in the end, all had fun and I ended up with the nickname "Alex" for the next couple of Sundays :-)

My brother is now the senior pastor of Worship Ministries. We are all very excited that he gets to follow his heart in music ministry and that the Lord has provided this position for him and his family. The church offers much more than their previous ministry (which was focused primarily on youth - something Dan *could* do, but was not his primary calling) - including a strong nursery program that will allow his wife to attend church services more regularly.

The church has three morning worship services and Dan will lead music for the first two (traditional and blended). The contemporary service will be led by one of the associate pastors of worship. I'm looking forward to visiting them during the Christmas/New Years holiday.

Originally, I planned to spend part of the holiday with my brother and part with my sister - but things came up that made it a better decision just to stay with my brother this time. My sister and I will take some time alone together sometime next year - she and I need some "just us" time to delve into some spiritual matters. I won't go into the detail of the drama their family is dealing with here - far too public - it would be indiscreet - but I will ask for prayer from any of my friends reading this as the situation *may* significantly impact my life. If so, I will need all the support I can get to manage the situation in wisdom.

So, that's about it for life. I have another post to do on a different topic so I'll close this one off for now. I should be more regular from this point forward :-)

Today

Today I listened to a really neat CD from a group called "Eden's Bridge". You can sample some of their music here (http://www.worshipmusic.com/swd0197.html). I love Celtic music and theirs is some of the best Christ-focused Celtic music I've heard :-)

Today I'm doing laundry . . . or rather, the washer and dryer are "doing" the laundry - I just help the machines along a bit with clothes, soap and quarters :-P Makes me glad for the machines though. The stream and the rock just don't sound like fun to me . . . maybe I'm just lazy?

Today I caught up on reading my friends Blogs :-)

Today I finished one major project at work and came really close to completing another :-)

Today I made plans with friends to go to a play on Saturday :-) :-) We're gonna see "Catch Me If You Can sandwiched between Quiznos for lunch and something for dinner afterwards :-) We're also gonna go see some movie on Sunday afternoon. I forget which one.

Which reminds me . . . "Happy Feet" comes out on my birthday and with it - - - - the trailer for the next Harry Potter movie!!!! I'll go to the movie just for the trailer! :-)

The Kerry Tragedy

The last few days have seen me experiencing a lot of anger. Righteous anger, I believe, at the coarse, calloused, thoughtless and slanderous words of Senator John Kerry. But his stupid "joke" (yeah, like I buy that!) is not the worst of it.

Kerry "apologized" - or so they say. But his apology was just another slam. He's sorry that we, the American people, are so stupid that we "misinterpreted" his comments! Adding insult to injury. Now it's not just the US Military that Kerry insults, it's the American people as a whole.

But that's not the worst of it.

I think the greatest insult is that Bush and the rest of the polical leadership - democrat & republican alike - ACCEPTED Kerry's "apology"!!!! WHAT????? Mind you, I'm a staunch Republican and I've always supported Bush. However, in not demanding that Kerry take full responsibility for his error (and that's putting it *very* nicely), the leaders of our political system, including Bush, have given legitimacy to his presumption that we're all pretty stupid.

The job of my elected leader is to protect me - as an American citizen and as an individual. That these leaders would let this (enter choice word here) get away with such a lame excuse for an apology is outrageous and I'm more offended by their acceptance of Kerry's apology than I am by Kerry's initial foolish comments. How the rest of the world must view this - and me by default - is humiliating.

But then . . .

Maybe they realized, as I do, that this sorry excuse for an "apology" is about the best we'll ever get out of this sorry excuse for a "man". He's NEVER apologized for calling good men like my dad - a Vietnam Vet - baby killers and rapists and a number of other far more terrible things. He has no respect for anyone in our military. I'd be hard-pressed to believe he has respect for anyone. The man is arrogant, self-righteous and flat-out evil.

One question I have - and if anyone out there can answer me, I'd sure love to hear it - is why anybody in the military - past or present - or anyone with a friend or loved one in the military - past or present - would support this guy? Veterans came out to support him in pretty good numbers in the last presidential run. WHY??? He thinks you're stupid!! He thinks you're baby-killers and rapists!! Why on earth would you lend your support to a creature like him??

More Blessings than I know what to do with!!

So, to top it all off, my brother and his family will be moving to Arizona this month!! He's taken the position of Senior Worship Ministries Pastor at a church out there. (I don't know if that's the exact title, but it's probably a good substitute anyway).

The really huge benefit is that they'll only be a day drive away from me. This means MANY more opportunities for me to visit them and get to know my wonderful, sweet sister-in-law and my precious nephews better!! Not to mention seeing my best friend in the whole world a bit more often :-)

I'm so excited!!

I should be on my treadmill . . .

But it's been so long since I wrote anything, I figured this was more needful at the moment :-) Besides, it's a great excuse to procrastinate :-)

Well, I've been absent because I've been moving. It was quite the experience. Of course I realize I'm not alone in this - nearly everyone has a tale or two about the challenges of moving - and most, I'm sure, are far more harrowing than mine. But this is my Blog and so I'm telling my story :-) Feel free to respond with your own anecdotes :-)

Long-whiney-story-short: All my planning was for naught. A full month ahead of time I set up everything - the address change, the phone, the basic cable (just the local channels), the internet, the volunteers, the truck, the day off to clean the new place so it would be ready to move into . . . I really thought it through and planned ahead every detail - researched the best prices and scheduled all the deliveries/installs, etc.

Without going into every boring detail, suffice to say that not one of these things happened as "I" planned for them to. And therein is the key . . . "I" planned. Now, I'm not saying I shouldn't have planned - that would be really dumb. I did what I needed and should have done. None of my efforts was in vain as they were the right thing to do at the time. No, the problem was not in the planning, the problem was in trusting the planning and allowing no room for God to do something different. So, I got to go to "God changes things" school :-)

In retrospect, I am so grateful God took me through that time. I came out of it a bit more humbled and really strenghthened in some relationships as I was *lovingly* chastised by some folks who cared enough to challenge my pity-party when it was all falling apart. And, in the end, every need has been taken care of. It wasn't even a really tough trial, but it was really beneficial!

One of the things I was soundly reminded of in this process is to stop and count my blessings. I thought I'd share a few (these are specifically move-related):

1. A treadmill - a really nice, decked out treadmill for about 1/2 of what it would normally cost - and because things didn't work out as I planned, I saved $75 in delivery fees!

2. Two beautiful kitty kats :-) I don't have to come home to an empty house anymore!!

3. Space! Lot's of it. It's not really usable yet as I've still got boxes occupying the living room, but I can see it all working out beautifully in the end :-)

4. A dining room table and chairs. A nice set too - solid oak wood with a removable leaf to size it down. It's in really nice condition and it only cost $100 AND it was delivered for free! This was the key piece of furniture as it was the primary reason I wanted to move up into a larger place. The studio suited my basic needs but did not allow enough room to host more than a couple of folks at a time - and I do so love to play the hostess! This new place will open doors to have friends over for lunch or dinner, Bible Studies, Game Nights or any number of other "several folks involved" events :-)

5. A sofa bed. This will allow me to house students looking into the Master's College or my brother when he comes to the Shepherd's Conference (unless he comes with his wife who is highly allergic to cats. . . ) or my parents if they decide to come down for a visit or any number of other possible overnight visitors. It opens the door to even more opportunities to excercise my love for hospitality.

6. A matching set of armchairs - free from a guy at work. He and his wife are buying new furniture. The set is in wonderful condition and the upholstery reflects the warm Victorian look I want to have.

7. A couple of wonderful lady friends who have a great eye for organizing and decorating!!! And they're both excited to help me put my home together and make it a warm, welcoming place!

Lastly - the $$ to do everything I really needed and most all of the things I really wanted to do in this move. God provided additional, unexpected funds to more than cover all the expenses involved in the move - including the unexpected ones arising out of the planning-gone-awry! And I can still afford to go home for Christmas :-)

Well, that's it for this post. I'll do a little more catching up in the next one and try to do better at keeping up from now on :-) Thanks for reading - I hope you are encouraged by the goodness of our Sovereign Lord and Savior - Jesus Christ. All praise, honor and glory to Him alone!

A Week of Blessings

This week has been absolutely fabulous! Yes, there've been some challenges along the way, but even those moments have been blessings when the fruit of them was seen :-) Let's start back two Friday's ago.

Two Friday's ago I had the neatest opportunity to go with my dear friend Mark to a Theater in the Round!! We saw Arsenic & Old Lace! I've never seen the movie or read the play before so it was totally fresh and new for me. It was excellently acted and Mark and I laughed our head off! (but we didn't drink the wine . . .) ;-) Mark is wonderful company and makes for a great companion for these types of adventures. I am blessed to have such a wonderful friend and brother in the Lord.

Two Saturday's ago the Dinner For Eight event for our fellowship group at church was held. For those who don't know, that's were we divide up folks from our fellowship group into different homes for a potluck meal and an evening of getting to know one another. I got to go to Marina Del Ray. One of the other couples assigned to that host homes, Keith & Rita, met me at the church early that day so we could go enjoy a walk at the marina before the potluck. Our host couple, David & Devanee joined us for the walk and showed us around. It was a neat way to spend the afternoon. Both couples are wonderful and I was so grateful to have the opportunity to get to know them better!

After our tour at the marina, we went back to the house to await the other two couples assigned to David & Devanee then we had BBQ salmon & chicken (yes, I had a little of each!) and all kinds of other yummy foods. We topped it off with David's home-made vanilla icecream and fresh peaches!! YUMMMM. Then we all just sat around the table and talked. I learned that one of the "mild mannered" and more "mature" gentleman in our group was a licenced and practicing *race car driver*!! (shock!) and most shared their testimonies - which was a real blessing. Most of the group had come to Christ later in life and it was a blessing to hear how He had drawn them to Himself and of their total devotion to Him now :-)

Sunday was church - and it was, of course, really wonderful! I don't have my notes . . .(wonder where those went . . . ) but it was about our job as evangelists and I came away more convicted to be bold in my faith.

Monday was work and a huge blessing. Our email had been down since the previous Wednesday afternoon. For our company, "this is not good" does not come close to expressing the pressure this puts on me to get it fixed. This is HUGE for us. The Lord was gracious (as always) and the solution presented itself readily and before 10 a.m. everything was working as it should. :-)

In addition, one of the projects I was working on led to a need to include a co-worker in the process and the boss gave me permission to turn this project over to her and any other responsibility I felt could be transferred to her!!!! I've been hoping for this for a long time. My job started out Administrative but through the months and till now, 2+ years later, it has grown to include a great deal of marketing - to the point that I really felt my administrative duties were suffering because I just didn't have time to do both jobs. Being able to toss some adminstrative duties to someone else takes a load off my back and frees me to be more effective in the marketing end of things :-) <>

Tuesday I received a call from a friend that her father-in-law had passed away. I was able to re-arrange my discipleship meeting to Friday night and ended up spending Tuesday night with their family. I love these people! I was not really close to the father-in-law, though I had met him before strokes had made it necessary for him to be placed in a nursing home, but I did love him - mostly because I love his family, but also because, in some respects, he reminded me of my dad. The time with my friend and her family was such a blessing. It's interesting how you can go to minister and end up being ministered to. Their hearts and their faith in the perfect providence of God was so beautiful to see.

Wednesday I met with Angela - I'm doing some part-time accounting work for her. We sat and chatted for the longest time :-) Since we attend the same church, I wanted to get to know her on a more personal level, not just as part-time help. The fellowship was really sweet and Angela's spirited view of life and godliness was really encouraging :-) I think we really developed a bond there.

Thursday I was supposed to have dinner at my house with Stacy - a young lady from my fellowship group that I'm developing a friendship with. I realized that night that I had not yet gone to JC Penny (a good 30 minutes from my house) and purchased the wedding gift I needed for a wedding I was to attend Saturday morning! With Friday out of the question due to discipleship, I asked Stacy if she wouldn't mind having dinner at the mall - my treat, of course. She was such a trooper. After being on her feet *all* day (she's a baker, so that means ON her feet ALL day - like 10+ hours!!), she graciously went to Penny's with me. We found what I needed quickly - really, surprisingly so - and not only was it on sale at the display, but there was an additional discount at the cash register. I saved about 50%!! Then we went to Salt Creek Grille - someplace I've always wanted to try, but never had taken the time to. Now I know why . . . regular dinner plates *started* at around $20.00!! Fortunately, they also had very nice sandwich options for around $8 - much more reasonable! We had a good meal and, since I was on hyperdrive, Stacy was kind enough to let me ramble about things. I did settle down for part of the evening and she was able to share some stuff too :-) It was neat to spend some time with her.

Friday was discipleship and WOW - what a blessing!! This study is going to hone me as much, if not much more, than it does Bonnie! We're going through a book called "Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God" by Lisa Tatlock & Pat Ennis. We were in the first part of Chapter 1 and already I feel like I've discovered the mountain I'm climbing is at least 10 times higher than I originally thought it was! :-P Boy, have I got a long way to go in this sanctification process!

Saturday was the wedding of a couple from my fellowship group at church. The did some really neat things that I think I would incorporate if I were to ever marry. The most significant was right after the bride came forward - everyone standing, as is traditional. Normally, once the bride reaches the front the Pastor has everyone be seated. In this wedding, the Pastor asked that we all remain standing. He said that this couple had come together as believers, acknowledging that they are not to be unequally yoked. He asked them each to affirm a public confession of their faith in Christ - the pastor stated the profession, "Have you . . . as Savior and Lord" and they individually responed, "I have!". The gospel was clearly presented several times throughout the wedding ceremony. Since both the groom and bride have family members that do not know the Lord, many seeds were planted during the ceremony.

I headed to the reception afterwards, hoping to see the bride and groom before I had to take off - I deeply desired to attend the funeral for my friend's father-in-law. Long story short - too many conversations (all of which were a real blessing) led to leaving quite a bit later than I should. This followed by stopped traffic on the freeway made it clear I was not going to make it to the funeral - I'd have probably gotten there about the time they were all headed out. So I went home and spent some time in prayer for the family. I really think that's where God wanted me to be during that time anyway, and it was a precious time of lifting up my friends and those in their family that are unbelievers.

That evening I headed over to their house for the post-funeral meal and fellowship. That evening was a total blessing! My friend shared with me about the funeral - how the gospel had been clearly shared, ruffling the feathers of some of the unbelieving family, and seeds had obviously been planted. During the course of the evening, I was priviledged to watch the widow sharing from the Word of God with an unbelieving family member!!! What a joy to see the Lord's grace and mercy displayed by His children in this time that the world would consider so tragic and mournful. Yes, there was mourning. They already miss their father/husband - but with Christ we have a peace that passes understanding, and a joy that overflows even in the darkest of times because it is not born of our circumstances but of confidence in the sovereign timing and will of our loving and gracious Heavenly Father.

Today was a blessing both in the teaching at our fellowship group and in the main service. In our fellowship group we got to listen to our pastor's son-in-law teach on Judges 11 and how a godly person can confuse right and wrong. He defined the mistakes Jephthah made which led him to do wicked things thinking they were holy and right. In the main service, we had the pleasure of listening to guest teacher John Glass from Geneva. He spoke on three key decisions we can make that will lead to revival. Really good stuff which I'll blog about later and separately as this is already long enough :-)

Another blessing came to me today before church started. I have been praying about moving into a 1-bedroom apartment (right now I'm in a studio). I have been tossed about the additional expense - whether there would be a wiser place to spend the money. The increased rent wasn't really an issue - it would only be about $40 more than I'm currently spending - the challenge came in adding in utilities. These are currently included in my rent and I was concerned that adding utilities on top of additional rent would be unwise stewardship of what God has given me. On the flip side, I really can't do much ministry in a studio apartment.

There's no room to have a Bible Study meet or to have more than 2 or 3 guest at a time for meals or games or . . . . Game Night was often a bit crowded and challenging as I had no table on which my guests could put their dinner plates. I had talked it over with my mom and, since I could afford the additional rent and the utilities, though it would mean tightening the belt a bit, the ministry opportunities this would open up were viable places for the $$ to go. In additon, the place I want to move is about 15 minutes less driving time to work saving me around 1/2 hour each day. I decided to go forward with the move.

Because of the deposit requirements, I wasn't going to be able to afford the move in till the 15th of September - that put the manager of the complex in a bit of a bind as he knew the owners would not allow him to hold the apartment for that long. So, I told him not to hold it, that I'd call on the 15th and if it was still available we'd go from there.

This morning I bumped into the manager at church and he said he had a lot of applications and that he probably could not hold the apartment. . . . HOWEVER, he'd just been advised that morning of another apartment coming available that the timing works out perfect for! AND, it's bigger than the one I was originally hoping to get but still costs the same. AND, because it used to be a game room that they've converted into an apartment, the utilities are connected to the main building and INCLUDED in the rent!!!! :-) Watch me grin!!

Yes, this has been a week of blessing. Praise God for His gracious, kind hand on my life and my heart :-)

My Mommy is the greatest!

This afternoon I lasso'd my mom into phone conversation lasting far too long for her schedule. I left her with 1/2 an hour to finish preparing for guests and get dressed for evening church and then get to church - which, I think, is at least 15 minutes away. She very graciously and even with great interest listened to me ramble on about all the wonderful things God had done in my life this week - without a single word of "hurry" till I'd talked myself out :-)

My mom's the best mom a girl could have!! :-)

The child inside

I don't know if men can relate to this or not, but sometimes the challenges in life can be so overwhelming that the strong external person we present to the world just disappears - and all you are left with is the vulnerable child inside that suddenly feels alone and unprotected. That about describes the day I had today - and the way I felt by the end of it. Small, alone, vulnerable. It was one of those times when you just want to curl up in daddy's lap and let him gently brush the hair from your face, taking the cares of the day along with it.

I feel sorry for those in the world who face these moments without the Lord. Human father's can fill the gap for them, if they are fortunate to have such a dad - but most, whether Christian or not, don't have that kind of relationship with their dad, or, as in my case, they live to far away. You'll notice that one word I did not put in the first paragraph was "fear." Through the trial today, the Holy Spirit faithfully and constantly reminded me that although I "felt" alone, I was and am not truly so. And, although I truly was vulnerable (on an emotional level), my Heavenly Father was there to protect me. And, although I could not run to my earthly father - or indeed anyone else - I could rest where I was in the arms of my Loving Lord. It was such a comfort. How people face the trials of life without the Lord is beyond my ability to understand. Indeed, God must grant some special graces to even those who reject him, that they should find strength to endure in those times.

I've had the pleasure of listening to Michael Card's "Brother to Brother" album quite a bit recently. Although there are a couple of lines in a couple of songs that I disagree with on a theological basis, for the most part it is simply a worshipful, beautiful album.

I wish I could share all of his music here - each song on that album has such beautiful imagery and calls my heart to worship so strongly. You can sample the album here. Lyrics from a couple of the songs I especially love follow:

The Final Word

"You and me we use, so many clumsy words - the noise of what we often say is not worth being heard. When the Father's wisdom wanted to communicate His love, He spoke it in one final perfect Word.

He spoke the incarnation, and so was born the Son!
His final Word was Jesus, He needed no other one.
Spoke flesh and blood so He could bleed and make a way divine
And so was born the baby who would die to make it mine.

And so the light became alive and manna became man. Eternity stepped into time so we could understand!

He spoke the incarnation, and so was born the Son!
His final Word was Jesus, He needed no other one.
Spoke flesh and blood so He could bleed and make a way divine
And so was born the baby who would die to make it mine.

And so was born the baby who would die to make it mine.

You and me, we use so many clumsy words. The noise of what we often say is not worth being heard. When the Father's wisdom wanted to communicate His love, He spoke it in one final perfect Word."

Advent Suite

This song is sung with a great sense of anticipation and excitement - it's one of those you can't help but smile to :-)

"Can you believe in the miracle coming!? Can you believe it will take you away!? There will be living where once there was death! There will be new life in Jesus!

Can you believe there is charity coming! The only law known that we come to obey! There will be living where once there was death! There will be living in Jesus!

Can you believe that the eagle will fly with the dove??? Can you believe there's a rose in the raised fisted glove???

Hallelujah!! Hallelujah!! Hallelujah!! Hallelujah!!

So, Hear O Israel - your Savior is born to a young virgin child. Hear O Israel, all of mankind can be born in Him. All of mankind can be born in Him!

....

And we'll walk on the water with Him!! Messiah come surely and we will begin - to walk on the water with Him!

And we will be with Him

As the Father is with Him

As the Spirit is with Him

Meekly, lowly you come, born to the world in a stable. Come to the shepherds, come to the poor - He is surely exalted as our King of Kings - surely exalted as our King of Kings!!

And He will show forth the strength of His arm, He will scatter the pround in their own conceit. He will cast down the kings from their thrones and lift up the meek and the lowly - lift up the meek and the lowly.

And we'll walk on the water with Him!! Messiah come surely and we will begin - to walk on the water with Him!

And we will be with Him
As the Father is with Him
As the Spirit is with Him

Oh - He has come!! Messiah has Come!!! Messiah has COME!!!

Can you believe there is charity coming! The only law known that we come to obey! There will be living where once there was death! There will be living in Jesus!"

Now THAT's something to rejoice about :-)