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Eowyn's Heart

The name of this blog is based on the character Eowyn from Lord of the Rings because I strongly identify with her on many levels. The purpose of this blog is to proclaim the glory of my Lord and King through His work in conforming me into the image of His Son, Christ Jesus. In all things, I trust you will see His hand at work.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Beloved Disaster

There much to write . . . much to "spill" but little time right now. I am living these days in the dichotomy of one who is ever so unworthy of forgiveness, much less love, yet who is more than forgiven - even cherished. I don't even know how to express just how unworthy I am of all that God has bestowed on me. There is nothing - not one molecule, not one speck of a molecule, not one thought, not one dream, not one hope, not one . . . anything in me that is deserving of His kindness. Rather, all that I am - every ounce of me physically, mentally, emotionally, and any other way - every single part of who I am is worthy of judgement and more - of condemnation - of eternal damnation. This is who I am in this flesh.

And yet,

or rather, "But God" - - Who is this God who can see something as wretched and undeserving as me and choose to transform it into something beyond price? Knowing I would fight the transformation every inch of the way - yet He Chose Me. I can only weep at His mercy, at His grace, at the pouring out of His much desired and ever so undeserved love.


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