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Eowyn's Heart

The name of this blog is based on the character Eowyn from Lord of the Rings because I strongly identify with her on many levels. The purpose of this blog is to proclaim the glory of my Lord and King through His work in conforming me into the image of His Son, Christ Jesus. In all things, I trust you will see His hand at work.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Mental War

It has been a tiring week. Not for lack of sleep, but for the constant struggle I've faced. I feel battle-weary and I haven't even (to my knowledge anyway) been on the front lines. My battle has been, mostly, with myself. As James says, "Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from desires for pleasure that war in your members?"(1:4) and Galatians 5:17, "For the flesh lusts agains the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things you wish."

Recently I've had cause to count my losses - some for the sake of the cross - most just because that's how life in this imperfect world is. The latter are the one's that hurt the worst. No details here because it's nobody's business but mine and God's. Suffice to say I am tired of being strong - of taking the wounds and carrying on like a good soldier - of silent forgiveness that does not require the other person to come face to face with the pain they cause - of having no one to turn to when I hurt - always being the shoulder that gets cried on and not having another's for my own tears.

And this "hurt" I regret - because it is selfish and ungrateful. God has given me so much and I am foolish to dwell on the little inconveniences of personal insult and being misunderstood. How much more have I oft insulted and misunderstood my Savior? Yet His love for me and His acceptance of me endure. It is, indeed, amazing grace!

3 Comments:

Anonymous b. said...

*hugs* my shoulder is here, should you need it. you're used to being the rock for people, but burdens are meant to be shared. the invitation is open.. any time.

11:08 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

Agreed. If you need me, you know how to find me.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Eowyn7 said...

And here I see more of His amazing grace . . . I'm not so alone as I sometimes believe myself to be.

I am grateful for friends like you!!

11:23 AM  

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