Loss and Perspective
And what is his response?? This is what brings tears to my eyes - He says,
"We have not lost our joy, nor are we discouraged. Rather, we are energized about the work the Lord has given us, to prepare people for death! I am not sure what the rest of our little break holds, but Patricia and I have been faced with shattering and unavoidable reminders of the brevity of life and the importance of investing all we are and have in that which is eternal."And death becomes real to me and I have to ask - Lord, how do I get through to them? To my sister? to my nephews? to my neighbor? I want to take this letter over to my neighbors right now and ask them to read it, then give them the gospel and call them to repentance! But they are not home right now . . . and I'm terrified I'll loose the courage brought on by this emotion before I see them again. I don't know what to do about my sister - she believes she is saved, but my heart cries in fear that it's only a head acknowledgement of who Christ is and not a heart submission to Him - the Demons also believe, and tremble - that kind of "faith" won't save her. My nephews are so angry with "God" and have grown up around such mediocre Christianity - they "tune out" everytime someone mentions the name of the Lord without using it as a swear word. How, how HOW can we get through to them??? And how can I go to work tomorrow, move among the walking dead, and not cry out in agony at the condemnation awaiting them?
My heart breaks tonight, and it drives me to tears and to prayer. My solace comes in the doctrine of election - but not so that it alleviates my need to testify. I pray God will not let this fire die - that I will be more bold than ever before. I've always been very open about my faith at work - I've also been very diplomatic - and that has made my witnessing weak. God, let me speak boldly of your truth - cause me to risk disapproval and offense without fear and yet with wisdom that Your Name may not be evil spoken of.