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Eowyn's Heart

The name of this blog is based on the character Eowyn from Lord of the Rings because I strongly identify with her on many levels. The purpose of this blog is to proclaim the glory of my Lord and King through His work in conforming me into the image of His Son, Christ Jesus. In all things, I trust you will see His hand at work.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Loss and Perspective

Tonight I write with tears in my eyes, having just read of the incredible losses a faithful and precious Pastor has endured over the past few weeks. Dr. MacArthur writes of loosing one close friend or family member after another since going on summer break. He and his sweet wife had intended this break, after so many years of service, "to just enjoy life together for a while. . ." But God had other plans for them. Eight personal losses, including four members of one family they are close to and Dr. MacArthurs own father, and another 4 losses experienced by close personal friends of theirs, and another loss to a family they were priviledged to meet over the summer. Thirteen losses in all that have touched the life and wrenched the heart of this dear man and his family - and another looms at the door as a close friend of theirs suffers from a terminal illness.

And what is his response?? This is what brings tears to my eyes - He says,
"We have not lost our joy, nor are we discouraged. Rather, we are energized about the work the Lord has given us, to prepare people for death! I am not sure what the rest of our little break holds, but Patricia and I have been faced with shattering and unavoidable reminders of the brevity of life and the importance of investing all we are and have in that which is eternal."
And death becomes real to me and I have to ask - Lord, how do I get through to them? To my sister? to my nephews? to my neighbor? I want to take this letter over to my neighbors right now and ask them to read it, then give them the gospel and call them to repentance! But they are not home right now . . . and I'm terrified I'll loose the courage brought on by this emotion before I see them again. I don't know what to do about my sister - she believes she is saved, but my heart cries in fear that it's only a head acknowledgement of who Christ is and not a heart submission to Him - the Demons also believe, and tremble - that kind of "faith" won't save her. My nephews are so angry with "God" and have grown up around such mediocre Christianity - they "tune out" everytime someone mentions the name of the Lord without using it as a swear word. How, how HOW can we get through to them??? And how can I go to work tomorrow, move among the walking dead, and not cry out in agony at the condemnation awaiting them?

My heart breaks tonight, and it drives me to tears and to prayer. My solace comes in the doctrine of election - but not so that it alleviates my need to testify. I pray God will not let this fire die - that I will be more bold than ever before. I've always been very open about my faith at work - I've also been very diplomatic - and that has made my witnessing weak. God, let me speak boldly of your truth - cause me to risk disapproval and offense without fear and yet with wisdom that Your Name may not be evil spoken of.


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